Welcome to the 7th installment of "WINE PARAPHERNALIA THAT MAKES US UNCOMFORTABLE AND/OR SCARED" (or W.P.T.M.U.U.A.O.S. for short)

Oh, we need wine for dinner....whatever will we do?  Wait a minute...what are you standing on?  Oh yeah, it's my James-Bond-Villain-Wine-Cellar-Lair I forgot I had because I'm so rich I can afford to forget things like where my wine cellar is and where I'm going to hide your body after I kill you.  Did I say that outloud? 

Anyway, this is great design but sheesh, really?  How many drunk dinner guests have gone head-first down this Hitchcock Movie about alcoholics?  But I'm guessing if you can afford this, you can afford a miniature man-servant who lives at the bottom if your wine cellar and gets your wine for you.  I'm 5'11" when I slouch.  I enjoy cots and canned food and answer to Reginald, Doyle, or "Yoo Hoo, Little Wine Boooy!"

Good Vibrations

     There is very little proof of what specific damage vino sustains from a little shaking, but many believe the sediment gets disturbed and interrupts the wine's "sleep", thus prematurely aging the wine before its time. Collectors have gone so far as constructing wine cellars out of rubber and even floating a thousand-bottle collection on a spring-loaded floor. It's that pesky 'gravity' thing....which willl be sooo much easier when we live on Mars. With old bubblies however, there is the very real concern that the pressurized contents inside could out-muscle an aging cork with too much jostling.  And in the canon of 'depressing things that can happen with booze', seeing a fine bubbly spilled all over the floor must be as depressing as it gets.

     So, to sum up, unless you're a high-end collector with a vintage collection, and you haven't kept your wine on top-brown in the toaster oven, your collection has more than likely not jumped the shark just yet.  It's easy to get too caught up in the pomp and circumstance surrounding wine and forget to just enjoy a good wine/food pairing with friends. Yes, that sounds like an afterschool special but we believe it completely nonetheless.